No Time For Yourself, Plenty For Everyone Else

You're lying to yourself if you think checking that message didn't cost you anything.

It cost you exactly where you were. In that walk, the workout, with your family, while reading that book. The second you looked, you left.

You’ve been saying that you can’t find time to go for that walk, do that 30 min workout, pick up that book you’ve been wanting to read, or to even take a break, but you will gladly hand over that time to someone else.

I was thinking about this recently while on my morning walk with Ruby. This is a walk we do everyday. The problem is, I bring my phone. For safety reasons, but also because its my time to document my creative ideas, whether in my audio notes (which is where this blog post was born from), or through video where I then upload into my stories on IG/Fb. The problem with this is sometimes I look to see who is messaging or emailing me. And sometimes I don’t pay attention and continue my walk to deal with it later but sometimes, I get curious, click on it and before I know, my focus is on the message and its interupted my focus or even ruined my mood.

That dedicated time you gave to yourself is not a suggestion you made to yourself, its a boundary.

When you break it, you're not just losing 10 minutes. You're teaching yourself that your time is available for anyone and anything. That the walk, workout, family dinner, these things are all negotiable, depending on what comes in.

And if everything is negotiable, nothing is protected.

This reminds me of my years as a Realtor. It wasn't because clients expected me to be available 24/7, even though that's the reputation. It's because I never told them I wasn't. I never set the boundary. I just kept showing up, kept responding, kept being available at all hours like my time had no value outside of what someone else needed from me.

You don't get protected time because you deserve it or because you really need it. You get it because you decide it exists and you stop apologizing for it.

I didn't know that then. I do now. And I still catch myself forgetting it on a Tuesday morning walk with my dog.

So make it a rule and then actually keep it.

The world won’t fall apart if you don't respond.

The version of you that exists on that walk, in that workout, at that dinner table, that version doesn't get a replay. The person on the other end wait until you are ready to answer.

Won’t you show up better once you’ve taken care of yourself first anyway?