Plot Twist: The Rejection Was the Upgrade

For a lot of my life, not being chosen felt humiliating.

Not getting the job.
Not being picked in the relationship.
Not being the one someone fought for.

I would immediately turn it inward.

What did I do wrong?
Was I too much?
Not enough?
Too emotional?
Too ambitious?
Too independent?

I spent years chasing things that, if I’m really honest, were never meant for me. I mean, I wrote a whole book about all the things and people I chased.

I chased relationships that required me to shrink.
I chased approval from people who weren’t even right for me.
I chased career paths because they looked successful, not because they felt aligned.

And every time I wasn’t chosen, I made it mean something about my worth.

Because when you tie your value to being picked, every “no” feels like a final decision.

There was a version of me who believed that if I could just improve enough, achieve enough, become enough… I would finally be undeniable. So I tried.

I over-functioned. I over-gave. I over-performed. I over-explained. I over did it all.

And when I still wasn’t chosen? It felt devastating.

Not being chosen was protection, redirection.

It was life saying, “This ain’t it, let’s keep it moving.”

Sometimes They Don’t Choose You Because You’re Not Meant to Be There

Maybe they needed someone who wouldn’t challenge them.
Maybe they needed someone who would tolerate less.
Maybe they needed someone who was in a completely different season.

And I wasn’t that.

And that’s not an insult.

There are rooms I desperately wanted to be in that would have required me to dim my voice.
There are relationships I would have fought for I did fight for that would have cost me my peace.
There are opportunities I thought I needed that would have drained my mental and emotional bank account.

Looking back, some of those “no’s” saved me years.

I used to chase everything. Now, well, I’m a bit too tired for that. Plu,s I’m more confident that what is for me will find me. I like to remind myself this after a rejection, “If not this, something better.”

If something doesn’t choose me, I’m okay with that.

Because sometimes we don’t want the thing. We want the validation. Or just looks good to have.

And validation is a terrible reason to build a life.

And this applies to business too.

There were times clients ghosted me. Leads came in that looked exciting but went nowhere. I used to spiral and think my pricing was wrong or my positioning was off or maybe I just was not good enough.

Now I see it differently.

Not every lead is meant to convert. Not every inquiry is aligned. Some people are not ready. Some want something different. Some need someone who operates in a completely different way.

And that is okay.

I seen this on Instagram somewhere and it stayed with me: “If you knew you were 100 rejections away from your dream, think how excited you would be every time someone told you no.”

What if every ghosted client was just number 37. What if every missed opportunity was number 52.

Rejection stops being personal when you see it as progress.

Not being chosen means you are one step closer.

Every time something does not pick you, it narrows the field. It moves you closer to what will.

What is meant for you will not require you to audition for your worth. You will not have to convince it. You will not have to shrink for it. You will not have to campaign to stay.

It will feel mutual. It will feel steady. It will feel like you do not have to perform to keep your place.

That is the difference.

The gift of not being chosen is that you stop contorting. You stop bargaining, and you stop chasing rooms that do not feel like home.

If you are in a season where something did not work out, where someone did not pick you, where a door quietly closed, maybe it is not rejection.

Maybe it is life clearing space for something that does not just tolerate you, but recognizes you.

I don’t want to be chosen everywhere.

I want to be chosen where I do not have to become someone else to stay.

If you’ve been rejected recently, think how close you are to where you are meant to be.

.

.

.

Michelle Gallant

Writer | Creator | Less Hustle, More Life

Cover Image Captured by: Amanda Rentiers Photography