I Chased Good on Paper Until It Cost Me Peace

“Good on paper” is a theme I’ve carried for a long time.

When I realized that in three simple words I could explain what I’ve been thinking, what I’ve been feeling… it clicked. It’s catchy. It makes you curious.

But when when I think deeper about it, it all boils down to this question worth asking yourself:

It might look good on paper.
But does it feel good?

That’s where we go deeper.

This is why I called this blog ‘Good on Paper’ and while the theme surrounds everything I do.

These aren’t surface-level conversations.
These are the thoughts I have at 7 or 8 a.m., walking through the forest with my dog, recording voice notes before the world gets loud.

We all know what “good on paper” looks like because we’ve been trained to chase it.

The good-on-paper relationship.
The good-on-paper partner.
The good-on-paper job.
The job title.
The salary.
The house.
The status.

It looks impressive.
It sounds responsible.
It makes other people nod in approval.

But does it feel like where you’re meant to be?

Most of the time, no.

Reminds me of the saying ‘keeping up with the Jones’s. A saying I cringe at.

What I’ve found is that we often strive for things that belong to someone else’s dream. Someone else’s definition of success. Someone else’s version of what “should” look good. And that’s where burnout creeps in.

Because the money doesn’t actually drive you. The title doesn’t light you up. The status doesn’t fulfill you.

You’re chasing something that was never yours to begin with.

When do we stop chasing and stay still to listen to what we really want?

It’s that quiet moment after you’ve worked so hard to get somewhere… and instead of feeling proud, you feel empty.

You think, Is this it?

The problem with the chase is that when/if you finally do get the thing you are chasing after, then what? You will set your sight on the next thing.

It’s the late nights at the office. The missed dinners with your family.
The skipped lunches.
The missed workouts.
The days that revolve around everyone else.

It’s sitting in your driveway after work because you’re so exhausted you don’t even want to walk into your own house.

You hustle. You grind. You perform. And somewhere along the way, you lose yourself.

I bet we can all think back to a time where we ‘had it all’. The money, the status, the big dreamy life. But how did you feel on the inside? Like something was missing? I can think back to a few times where it appeared like I ‘had it all’, and maybe I did, but I didn’t feel like it. I felt exhausted, defeated, unfulfilled and drained in every area just trying to keep up.

You don’t even know who you are without the partner.
Without the job.
Without the money.
Without the status.

And if you’re really honest, you’d give some of it back. Or all back.

To live a life that feels like home.

Maybe it wouldn’t impress everyone.
Maybe it wouldn’t sparkle on paper.

But it would feel right in your body. In your heart.

It feels incredible when you hit a milestone.
When something positive happens.
When there’s a breakthrough and people cheer you on.

But where are they when things fall apart? Where are they during the breakdowns?

Those are the moments you need to zoom in on.

Are you there for yourself then? Or are you only proud of yourself when it looks good?

We are constantly chasing the next thing. The next milestone. The next hit of validation.

We want someone to tell us we’re doing it right.
We want acknowledgment.
We want proof that we’re on the right path.

But usually, when you have to keep asking if you’re on the right pat… you already know the answer.

“Good on paper” might impress the world.

But “feels like home” is what sustains you.

And at some point, you have to decide which one you’re building your life around.

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Michelle Gallant

Writer | Creator | Less Hustle, More Life

Cover Image Captured by: Kristen McGaughey Photography