Busy Is Often Just Avoidance in a Cuter Outfit

Them: “How are you doing"?”

You: “Busy, you?”

This is often how we respond to the question but we actually never answered the question that was asked, instead we reply with a statement that no one asked for.

We weren’t asked how full our calendar is. We were asked how we’re doing. And instead of answering that question, we default to “busy.” A word no one asked for. A response that avoids the real answer.

Because the truth is, most of us have one thing sitting quietly in the background of our lives. The thing we think about almost every day. The thing we want to start, finish, create, or finally decide.

And the longer we delay it, the louder it gets.

For me, that thing was writing my first novel.

I had been a writer before. I’d written articles, content, copy for other people and other publications. But what I wanted, what I’d wanted for over ten years was to be a published author of my own work. A book that was mine. My words. A story I wrote.

And yet, I didn’t do it.

Every day I thought about it.
Every day I told myself, Just start. Just write.

And every day I came up with a reason not to.

I don’t know how to organize my thoughts.
I don’t know where to begin.
I don’t even know how to write a book.

So I let other things take priority. Work. Obligations. “More urgent” tasks. All while the thing that mattered most kept getting pushed further down the list.

The frustrating part? I actually knew exactly what to do.

Thirty minutes a day. That’s it. Write something. Anything. That would have been a start.

But instead, I stayed busy.

Eventually, I had to ask myself an uncomfortable question: Do I actually want this?

And the answer was immediate.

It wasn’t a casual yes. It was a hell yes.

So then came the harder question:
What is actually standing in my way?

The answer was confronting because it was simple.
I was.

I was the only one who could do this. Sure, I considered hiring a ghostwriter. I thought about it more than once. But deep down, I knew I wanted these to be my words. My story. Especially for the first one.

What I didn’t have wasn’t desire.
It was accountability.

I wasn’t showing up for myself consistently, so I needed support. Not motivation. Not inspiration. Structure and accountability.

Hiring a coach to help me changed everything.

Every two weeks, I had to produce a chapter. And here’s the honest truth: once I’d paid, the money part was done. Whether I wrote or not didn’t really affect her. But it mattered to me. If I didn’t show up, I was the one wasting my time and investment.

That accountability forced clarity.

Thirteen weeks later, I had a full manuscript.

After ten years of delaying it, the thing I’d built up in my head as massive and impossible took far less time than I imagined once I put the right support in place and focused.

This is what we so often do.

There’s something on your mind right now. Maybe it’s creating the website. Writing the book. Taking the course. Learning the language. Leaving the relationship. Hiring help. Saying no. Starting over.

It keeps nudging you because it matters.

And usually, the thing in the way isn’t a lack of desire. It’s the story we’re telling ourselves.

I don’t have the time.
I don’t have the money.
I don’t know where to start.

If it’s money, what do you have? Is there a payment plan? A smaller step? A way to make it possible instead of waiting for perfect conditions?

If it’s time, what needs to be removed to make space? Because adding this will require letting something else go.

If you don’t know how to do it, that’s normal. You’ve never done it before. But someone else has. Who do you need to ask? What support do you need?

Is fear part of it?

Fear of being seen.
Fear of choosing yourself.
Fear of what other people might think.

But the question that finally shifted everything for me was this:

What will I think of myself if I never do this?

I pictured myself years down the line, knowing I’d spent all that time thinking about it and never followed through. That regret felt heavier than the fear.

So I did the thing.

And now that I’ve done it, I know I can do it again. And again. And again.

That thing you keep calling “someday” isn’t random.
It’s persistent because it matters.

And one day, you’ll either be proud you did it or frustrated that you kept calling avoidance “busy.”

You don’t need more time. You need a decision.

I made mine.
You can make yours too.

So…how are you doing?

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Michelle Gallant

Author | Creator | Advocate for a Fulfilled Life

Cover Image Captured by: Amanda Rentiers Photography