I Didn’t Get Chosen… So We Popped Champagne
I got rejected today. Third time this week.
And for about 30 seconds, my brain tried to convince me that meant something about who I am.
But a recent conversation prepped me to redirect this thought.
She said: “You have to believe you’re worthy before the world says so.” And I’ve been thinking about that ever since, because most of us are walking around waiting to be chosen. I know it rings true for my life, I wrote a whole book on waiting to be chosen and validated by someone or something.
Chosen in relationships.
Chosen for the job.
Chosen for the opportunity.
Chosen to be seen, validated, and approved.
We don’t always say it out loud, actually we barely say it out loud but it shows up in how we move.
We attach our worth to the outcome, right? “If they pick me, I must be good enough.” “If they don’t, something must be wrong with me.” We allow someone else to decide how worthy we are.
And that’s where things start to get heavy. Because if your worth is tied to being chosen, then every rejection starts to feel like proof that you’re not enough. And that’s a dangerous place to live.
I know this feeling well.
I’ve felt it in relationships, wondering why someone couldn’t choose me fully.
I’ve felt it in my career, waiting for someone to validate that I was capable.
I’ve felt it in opportunities I deeply wanted, refreshing my email every five minutes, hoping, waiting for the “yes.”
And today, as I sit here writing this, I got a “no.”
An email letting me know I wasn’t chosen for something I really wanted.
An opportunity to share my message. Something I put myself out there for.
And yeah, I felt it. Like someone came over with a post-it note that read, “We don’t want you” and put it on my forehead. Well, maybe not that dramatic this time but there have been times.
That quick drop in your chest where your brain tries to make it mean something bigger.
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m not ready.”
“I don’t have what it takes.”
That narrative can get loud if you let it but I can decide that someone else not choosing me does not mean I am not worthy. It means I wasn’t the right fit for that room, person or moment.
That’s it.
We make rejection personal when it’s often just specific and there’s a difference.
It kind of reminds me of the time I got laid off from the job I thought would be my forever job.
The one right out of college that came with the salary and the stability.
If I’m honest, I wasn’t even happy there… but it felt safe.
So when I got laid off three months later, I was devastated.
But also, low key… thankful.
And what one of my friends did in that moment changed something for me.
She showed up at my door with a bottle of Veuve Clicquot and a card attached to it that simply said:
“Fuck ‘em.”
And I need you to know that it wasn’t about being bitter.
Her intention was clear: This is your chance to go after what is actually for you.
That moment stuck with me because within 3 months of that I started my own public relations business and my whole life changed, for the better.
Because what felt like rejection… was actually redirection. It gave me the space, a nice severance and capacity to do the thing that had been on my heart.
And I’ve seen that pattern play out more than once.
Because if I let every “no” define me, I would have stayed in places that weren’t right for me just because they said “yes.”
I would have stayed in a relationship where I wasn’t fully met.
I would have stayed in a version of my life that looked good on paper but didn’t feel right.
I would have kept trying to prove myself instead of trusting myself.
I’ve done that before. All in the name of being chosen.
But being chosen at the cost of yourself isn’t actually being chosen, it’s being tolerated.
And that’s not what I want anymore.
So now, I’m learning to flip it.
Instead of waiting to be told I’m enough, I decide that I am.
Before the email, the approval or the outcome.
That doesn’t mean rejection doesn’t sting. It does.
It just doesn’t get to decide who I am.
And maybe the opportunity I didn’t get today…
Is clearing space for one that fits better and one that sees me clearly.
One that doesn’t require me to prove anything to belong.
Or maybe the lesson isn’t even about the opportunity.
Maybe it’s about strengthening the part of me that doesn’t crumble when I’m not chosen.
Because if I can hold onto my worth here, right in the no, in the disappointment, then I’m not building a life that depends on other people’s decisions.
I’m building one that depends on mine, and actually, that feels way more solid.
So if you’re in a moment where you weren’t chosen…
I know it’s easy to question yourself.
I know it’s easy to make it mean more than it does.
But don’t hand your worth over to someone else’s criteria.
You were worthy before they said yes.
And you are still worthy after they said no.
I don’t drink alcohol anymore so the champagne hack won’t work for me but if you have any advice on how to celebrate this rejection, I’ll be here waiting.
Maybe its dancing, maybe its coffee or maybe its that chocolate croissant I’ve been eyeing up.
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Michelle Gallant
Writer | Creator | Dreamer
