Updated: Jun 14
Your Relationship With Money, What It Means and How You Can Change It
My conversation with Money Mindset Coach, Isabel Morales
Money is such an important topic to talk about because an investment in knowledge pays the best interest you can ever imagine. The limiting beliefs around the world have blinded many of us from the truth. You are where you are today not because you don’t spend money, but because you listened to the wrong information about money, and that’s not your fault but the people you listened to were not just well informed as you are.
My passion about the subject of money cannot be overestimated or undermined. While growing up, I've had my own messed up money beliefs that I wanted to chat with someone openly about. I think this platform is a resourceful avenue to share my thoughts so that I can reach a larger audience.
I grew up in Colombia, in South America. My family was never wealthy. Though, we weren't the poorest people in the world. But we struggled really hard. Just like many in the world today, I grew up with things like ‘money doesn’t grow on trees and that there's ‘never enough’ and I am certain many can relate to these myths.
In Colombia, the source of income of a wealthy man is always questioned, either termed crooks or illegal. Another myth is that wealthy men may be stingy as they don't spend but accumulate wealth. Imagine growing up with this kind of mindset to a young adult, struggling, thinking that I had to work really hard for money. I have struggled to live pay check-to-pay check and always thinking where's the money gonna come from?
In my mid 20s, I orientated my mind and I started to get more into spiritual laws, how the universe works and how we are a magnet for everything that we want in our lives. And even though that was a hard concept to swallow. I decided to listen to my intuition and pay attention to what I was learning. However, it took a long while to adjust to my newfound knowledge. It’s strange how knowledge changes perception; I usually think I wasn't the kind of girl that money was going to come to.
Now, I see I am more deserving, knowing that if I want it, it can come to me that if I become the right channel for it, it's going to come to me, no matter what. It keeps unveiling each day, the more I change the way I think, it influences my personality positively.
The magical ways that money comes to me
I have stories upon stories that have significantly changed my life of how money has manifested in my life through jobs, and then the magical like finding money on the street, and then the impossible of like, the CRA, you and I are in Canada, so the CRA sending me a message saying that they owed me money and I'm like, What the fuck? But money coming to my door that way, or having random deposits in my bank account and then going where you're coming from? Something happened recently, a friend of mine, sent me a message. This happened towards the end of last year, he messaged me on WhatsApp and he said, can I send you some money? And I jokingly say, haha, yes. And then he sent me money. I was shocked to the bone.
The way money shows up is unbelievable and an unreal amount. I actually won $20 on the lottery this morning at a free ticket. And it has piled up to about $25,000 showing up in my account. It's amazing to see how when you tweak your own vibration when you tweak the way that you're thinking, tweak the perspective in which you're watching the world from everything around you as to shift as well.
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE YOUR LIMITING BELIEF SYSTEM ABOUT MONEY
Be clear on what you want; the universe loves clarity. So what is it that you want? Do you want ease, joy, fun, and/or abundance? When you identify your wants, those are the things that you want to go for in life.
Be honest with yourself; this is a step that might be challenging for a lot of people. Because sometimes we don't know exactly what we believe about money. So sit down with a piece of paper and pen and write everything that you believe about money, the more that you write, and the more that you get quiet with yourself, the more shit that is going to come up. The more you are honest about yourself or believe, the more that you're going to know how to shift and change directions. Perhaps, you notice that your bank account is never more than X amount of dollars a month, where have you noticed that you always have a hard time meeting your rent at the end of the month? Or have you noticed that you cannot get your car payments on time? Or even if you have a decent well paying job, but the money still is not there, you used to have trouble paying your bills or meeting your commitments, then you write all those things down and start getting honest about what those are. Once you've done that exercise, that's when the real work starts.
Start with the ones that trigger you the most; it might be hard work, joy, fun, effortless, relaxation. To me, one of the ones that triggered me the most was that I have to work hard for it. So work on your top three or four messed up beliefs and start working with one of them at a time.
You might even think, do you want this to be true?
The answer is usually no because you want more wealth, it's a fact that you don’t want limiting beliefs in your life. So do I want this to be true? The answer will be no. So why do I want it to be true? I want the ease of not having to work hard for money; I want that effortless money coming in. I want the magic of life in my bank account. I want the universe to keep showering me with love. And you just go on and on. You will feel great whenever you do this. So when you shift your perspective, you will feel and become better. You might notice some resistance that you can work through following the same process. Is this true? Do I want this to be true? If the answer's no, so what do I want to be true in my life? Then you start from there. So once your free frame, those, just practice that, to spread through those feelings of I want the ease, I want the surprise, I want the amazement and I want the fun. I want the surprise money.
When you practice this often, believe me, you're going to be internalizing that new way of being. And eventually, your whole world is going to turn with that and you're going to see manifestation in your life.
HOW LONG IT TAKE TO CHANGE OR SHIFT FROM YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS
The length of time depends on the commitment that you have. And commitment doesn't mean that you have to be monitoring the way that you're thinking and the way that you're feeling 24/7. Commitment means that you are committing yourself to be aware of how you're thinking at all times. But it doesn't have to be hard work because nothing has to be hard work. The key factor here is awareness creation.
What is Awareness?
Awareness creates a space between your external stimulation and the reaction that you're going to have. For instance, you're in traffic and then some asshole cuts you off in traffic, and they just cut off in front of you. You have this gap of time between the asshole on the road and cutting you off in traffic. And the moment you respond to that. Sometimes the response is so automatic that you feel that you don't have the time because you just want to tell this guy off or, you know, give him the finger or whatever it is. But, when you become aware of an external force, which is just about to create a reaction in you. Then, in that moment of awareness, you have the power of choice. Do you want to flick this guy off? Do you want to roll down your window and scream at him? Or do you want to go in peace in your journey, there is always a choice. It's just that sometimes reactions come in autopilot for us that we don't think that we have a choice in the way that we're reacting. This goes for absolutely everything in life.
The more you exercise and practice awareness, the more that you're going to be creating that gap between the trigger that you have and the reaction that you have.
Another example is if someone is celebrating a huge promotion or a huge bonus at work like a 20,000 bonus or something and this triggers you. Immediately, you start to feel why this is happening to them and not you? Why is it so hard for me? Why is it that good things happen to other people and not for me, but the more that you exercise that awareness between the thought and the reaction, the more that you have the power to choose how you're going to feel, how you're going to think, how you're going to react? And when you practice that often, it becomes a habit that no one can take away from you. You can change your perception and say, What if I watch these from a different perspective? What if I make this mean something different? And at that moment, you have already gained tremendous leverage for what you're creating in your life, because you are deciding to react differently to something that probably you have reacted the same way for many years, So at that moment, you decide, I am going to celebrate this person as well, I am going to celebrate the $20,000. Because if I am in the vicinity of this win, that means that my win can come as well. And you start reframing every moment of your life in that way, exercising that awareness and becoming more present in the way that you think, react and behave. When you regain the power of choice, believe me, you're going to implement a new habit of thought that eventually is going to manifest in the material world in the form of more money, more opportunities, more possibilities, more resources available to you, more people wanting to work with you, and more people wanting to work for you.
HOW TO TALK ABOUT MONEY IN RELATIONSHIPS
Talking about money in relationships, whether it be in the intimate ones or within, there's this big elephant in the room that we should not talk about money between spouses or family, And I grew up with my parents, citing all the time about money because that's just what you did. And so when I was previously married, we never fought at all. And we never really talked about money. So I attracted what I didn't want differently. And then I was in another relationship where I felt controlled by money. And now I've learned and learning how important it is to have these open discussions about money and how we view finances and it's more of being focus on what you need to do, versus what you and your spouse should be doing together and never mind about, you know, trying to collectively agree, having my own view and vision and not judge so much about what other people are doing. Who you work with matters, a lot of people are couples talking about how to talk about money within relationships respectfully or openly. And how do we do this?
I don't work with a lot of couples, but the rules apply the same for any situation. When it comes to a household and that type of partnership, you both have to understand what field you're operating and have that mutual respect that your belief system is different. Because you are the one who's creating for you. I used to believe so. I have been married for more years than I know my goodness 20 1714, I spent more than 15 I can't remember because we've been together for like 20 something years. But anyway, we get along really well as well. Finances work seamlessly in our house. But we both have very different views when it comes to money. My husband is an engineer. He's a logical mind in the relationship, when it comes to our work, we save a percentage of it, we invest a percentage of it the rest of what we enjoy. That's how he views money. But I'm the total opposite. I'm the dreamer. I'm like, Oh, my God, money can come from anywhere in the world. I'm a unicorn; I manifest the shit out of my ass, and all that stuff. So we viewed money differently. But I respect his weight. He respects mine. And the way that I had to learn that was the hard way. Because when I started to practice my spirituality, I wanted to shove it down his throat. And I'm like, how can you not believe in the same things that I believe in? And I was thinking that he was the one hindering my manifestation because he's not on board with me. He doesn't believe in the same things that I believe in, how can this work if he's on a completely different path than I am and I started to become the victim because he was not on board.
But the blinders came on, when I realized that I create my own life, it does not matter what my husband believes in, he does not matter what other people believe in, it does not matter if my family thinks I'm crazy, it doesn't matter that my friends can understand what I say about wealth consciousness. And then I started to realize that everything in the realm of my awareness is my creation.
Therefore, the wealth that I bring into the relationship is my creation; the wealth that he brings into the relationship is my creation as well because it is in my field of awareness. If I get to enjoy that money, if I get to have access to that money, it is mine as well. Of course, there might be boundaries. But one thing I've learned is that everything that is around me is my creation, whether he believes in it or not. And when I focus on the things that I want, when I stay on my path, and again, back to putting my blinders on, if I don't pay attention to what he believes, and not because I don't respect it, not because I don't want to hear it, but because his opinion will not alter my process, then work is good. And when we talked about money, we talked in a very respectful way. He's very set in his ways, and with a set mind. But our common goal is, we want to have a good life, we want to have a free life, we want to have a life of expansion, and freedom. And that works for us, in our own way and ideologies. But because I am such a laser-focused individual, when it comes to creating the life that I want, it doesn't matter.
Protect and manage your energy.
When you understand that your energy is always sending the signal for what comes into your life. You should guard and protect your energy as your life does depend on it. I have a very good radar as to who I can talk about manifestation, we can talk about spirituality, and we can talk about energy management, and reality creation and all those things.
On a lighter note, I have friends that have no clue about what I do. And they're not interested in understanding it. And I am completely okay with that. Because the last thing that I want is to get into an argument about who's right. So I don't mention it to them. And if they ever want to learn, they'll come to me or they can just go on my Facebook and find out what I do. So I have a very good way to judge who I can open my energy to and who I cannot. I have a lot of family members that I don't even talk to them about money. Because; I know that it's not going to be well received. And it's not that I don't want to stand up for what I believe, it's just that I don't need the controversy. I'm not interested in having an argument about it. I'm not interested in trying to prove you wrong. I'm not interested in trying to make you understand that my way of life is better because we all think that our own individual's way of life is better. I'm not interested in changing anybody's mind about what I believe in. I did it. At the beginning of my spiritual journey, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops saying, Oh my God, I've discovered the holy grail. Why isn't everybody following me and doing this thing with me, this is my own process. It doesn't matter what anybody else believes in, as long as I protect my energy, I'll get everything that I want. And of course, I occasionally drop my power once in a while, I am human and I do react. I react to other people, you know, kind of cropping on my experience, or my journey or whatever. But then I go back to my patient, I go back to putting my blinders on, I go back to protecting my energy, go back to my happy place, and things continue to flow.