Valentine’s Day is about all things love. Society, the media, and even Hallmark has trademarked the holiday into showing love for someone else by showering them with expensive gifts and outlandish gestures. We’ve grown up giving cartoon Valentine’s Day cards to everyone in our classroom in grade 3 and baking cookies in the shape of hearts to distribute to everyone we know.
As I’ve grown up and been through a few relationships, 1 marriage, and onto my second marriage - I realized something: We missed the point. Instead of hoping for a Valentine in return or someone to show us love the way we expect them to, why not throw that energy into ourselves? If we’re constantly disappointed because of the way we thought someone should’ve shown up for us, why not expect them not to and do what we need to fill our cups for ourselves? It's our responsibility and only up to us to make ourselves happy.
Now more than ever we are being taught and told about ‘self-care’ and ‘you need to learn to love yourself first’, hell I preach this but why for one day we give someone else the power? It’s like we think we’re entitled to be lazy for one day and hope someone will acknowledge how wonderful we are. But what happens when they don’t the way we want them to? We’re disappointed and hate them for the day.
For years, I hoped and prayed for someone to sweep me off my feet and throw me in a pile of rose petals and shower me with song lyrics of beautiful words to describe how they felt about me. But shit, when I do that for myself - I feel like a Queen!
I hold Valentine’s Day on a pedestal because deep down, I’m a hopeless romantic. I believe in showing love to the people in your life, but not just for the day, every day. My love language is ‘words of affirmation’ so I’m big on leaving notes, giving cards, and letting the people know around me know how I feel. I do it this way because this is how I receive love. When someone sends me a birthday card or says how much they appreciate me, it goes a long way in my heart.
When I think back to previous Valentine’s Day where I was single, I went all out for myself. Nails did, hair blowout, expensive wine, delicious dinner out, shopping, and bubble baths. I was excited to spend the day alone and doing whatever I wanted with the person I love the most, me. When we give someone else the power to show us what we want, it rarely looks the way we picture.
Moving forward, I say - make the day about you. Do the things you want to do and if you have a significant other who shows you love that day - say thank you. It will certainly make your day better but just note, that you didn’t need the reassurance that you were already fantastic.
Love comes in all forms but remember, it's nobody’s responsibility to make you happy but yours. Do the things you want, celebrate the way you want, and shower yourself with the kind of attention you want and need to fill your cup.
Whether you are single, in a relationship, or married, don’t forget about the person who will give you everything you’ve ever wanted, you!
Happy Valentine’s Day!